Consiglio: You don’t learn who your “real” friends are in a crisis, you learn which friends are good in that particular kind of crisis.

…And which friends just don't have so much of their own stuff to manage that they can't take care of you, too.

When you've been through a tough time and your friends don't come through the way you want them to, it doesn't necessarily mean they are fair-weather friends and not worth it.

Some people are good when you need help with something practical, like a sudden move. Some are better with emotional things, like helping you with grief. Some are the hyper-competent type you want at your side if you've been in an accident or have another type of medical emergency. Some are the flexible type who you can always crash with or have dinner with their family if you're suddenly in need.

Few people have the time, talents, and resources to be an all-around good crisis friend and also do all the other things you want from a friend when you are not in crisis mode.

Also, coming to someone in a crisis can be far from a selfless act sometimes. Some friends that run to you when you are having trouble are those that thrive on other's “drama” and misfortune, others just like the chance to take over and act like the boss.