So this actually happened to me. It was my first ever relationship and I was “madly in love”. She was not a very nice person but the sex was great. She always enjoyed taking this piss out of me and embarrassing me whenever she could. She explained about a year into the relationship that she wanted an open relationship. At the time I remember being very upset but I was just a stupid kid who didn’t really know how to articulate an argument properly. I wish I had pointed out that it is much easier for woman to get sex then it is for men (especially as I was an incredibly awkward kid) and that she would have a string of partners and I would have none. Anyway she agrees to keep the relationship monogamous but from that point it went to shit. We would constantly break up over the course of a another year and she would go sleep with other guys and then we would get back together just because I was scared of going on without her (especially as I had become tied into her friendship group). Eventually it was too much and I decided to cut off all communication and haven’t seen her since.
So basically if you don’t want it, relationship is already fucked.
gtfo
Been there, tried that. We had very specific terms to the open aspect that she conveniently didn’t seem to remember when it actually mattered. It made me feel like a 2nd class person to her.
Personally I think that open relationships will almost always fail to sustain themselves, but I hope someone can prove me wrong about that.
There’s just something about listening to someone fuck your partner that really makes you feel like dirt.
It’d be nice if this question was worded to be ‘your partner’ instead of ‘your girlfriend’ just for a wider range of perspectives.
Personally, I’d sit down and talk to her about it.
If I’m comfortable with what she’s proposing then establish rules. Most open relationships have rules of some kind.
If I’m not comfortable or we can’t come to an agreement on how it works, then I’d end it.
Lots of good responses, personally I would say no. But it really depends on context:
Will you be doing the same? If you don’t want to fuck other people, then no
If the image of another person fucking your girlfriend bothers you, then no.
If the image of another person being intimate with your girlfriend bothers you, then no.
Your girlfriend should not have sex with someone instead of you, it should be an addition.
If she has sex with someone else, she should be comfortable and happy to discuss it with you. An open relationship is still a relationship. If she is not comfortable discussing it, your relationship is not mature enough to sustain it.
She should not be doing this to fuck one person in particular, rather it should be because she wants to have different types of sexual experiences.
Frankly, girls come across sex easily. If you are naturally competitive, or you think “I’m ok with this because I also get to fuck other people”, you will only end up resenting the fact that you will have to try much harder for a fraction of the payout.
.
Basically, you need to both be very comfortable and open with each other about the details of your sexuality. You need to understand the reasons and what you are both getting out of it. You need to be able to separate sex from emotions. The vast majority of people just don’t function this way. I know that I do not.
If I could go back in time… Sheesh.
Others have said it better, but I’m bitter still so let me add that this sort of thing isn’t an on the fence sort of decision. If you aren’t in then the relationship is over. The heart wants what it wants and even if it wants you if it wants other people too then you will get betrayed. Simple as that.