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You have to hunt down and kidnap your doppelganger. He looks, smells, thinks, and acts exactly like you. How do you lure yourself?

Porn. Lots of porn

Post some ads for get rich quick schemes and wait for him to take the bait

Have one of my friends invite him out.

she still smokes and I don’t so a pack of cigarettes?

Travelling to Manitoba would be a pain in the ass though.

Distract him, have a couple (possibly too much credit to myself) of friends grab him and promise candy and good music depending on his behavior.

Also, why am I kidnapping my semiclone?