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What slogans should the top brands have if they were brutally honest?

McDonalds – It’s going to be a solid 6.

Doritos – Eat cold to reduce smell.

Taco Bell – Accidentally Vegan Friendly.

Taco Bell – It’s never too late for another bad decision.

Charmin – The Tuxedo of Toilet Paper.

Dasani Water – It’s probably just water.

Dasani Water – Buy it for the memes!

Dasani Water – Sodium is actually vital to life! Seriously! Look it up!

Red lobster: you’re only here for the biscuits

Nike : their tiny hands sure can sew good, huh?

Apple because you have more money than sense

Lucky Charms: we know you only eat the marshmallows