What made you realise you need to raise your standards?

When my Dad and brother walked in on my boyfriend of 1 year in the men’s loo shagging a bridesmaid at my cousins wedding.

My Dad’s comment to me after the ruckus which followed was….”I didn’t raise you to be stupid, nor are you. So why in the hell are you dating these idiots who are clearly not worth your time? You darling girl are better then this.”

I took his advice and wised up.

My ex dumping me to pursue the poly lifestyle.

To each their own, but I am worthy of a FULL partner, not a fraction of one. I’ll never take any less than that, ever again.

Was seeing someone regularly, exclusively but casually. Planned to grab dinner and asked him to make the reso, double checked like twice that he did (my ex of 3.5yrs would’ve likely forgotten) and he was like yes of course I did, I said I would??? He literally said himself ‘the bar is on the floor’ the way I was pleasantly surprised he actually made a dinner reservation. That was the first step in not dating losers

In my experience, men in general have high standards when they choose their partner. As a women, I think I was raised to accept and be okay with the minimum. I believed that the only thing I needed was emotional satisfaction but recently learnt that in order to achieve this level of satisfaction you need to raise your standards so that your partner either tries to reach them or not try at all.

It’s also evident that when raising your standards you are raising your value as well, it all comes back to self respect.

I’ve always had high standards for others, but not for myself. What made me realize I needed to treat myself better was the moment I went into the bathroom to have a panic attack at work. I didn’t tell anyone, but I knew I needed to start eating better, going to bed at a decent time, being less on my phone, drinking less coffee, working out, and above all, leave a relationship with an amazing person who didn’t make me or let me make him happy. I didn’t want more years of the same life, that’s what made me raise my standards and I won’t lower them ever again.

“Your partner is a reflection of how much you love yourself.”

I saw that quote and never resonated with something so much in my life. Because obviously that meant I didn’t love myself at all.

when I took a step back and studied the character of the kind of men I had been attracting: broken, unavailable, low-vibration, low-effort, etc.

I recognized that there was some serious work within me that I needed to do and got right to it.

And just like that … such men are not a problem anymore.

When my therapist said “every day I look for your name in the newspaper to see if you turned up dead.”

I was tired of begging to get treated better/ having to “prove myself” worthy

My dad. How he treated my mum, sisters and I showed me alot in what to expect from a man. I finally broke up with my manipulative toxic ex and was very lucky enough to find someone who treats me like a princess exactly how my dad always did ❤️