I once tried to eat my phone while wearing a mask because I simultaneously forgot that I had the mask on and also forgot which hand was carrying my phone and which was carrying the cookie I was eating.
Edit: I remembered another one. Was dreaming I was swishing some mouthwash around, then I woke up halfway, just enough to realize that I no longer had a sink in front of me but not enough to realize that I didn’t actually have Listerine in my mouth. Figuring I couldn’t just swallow mouthwash, I instead elected to spit into my blanket and wash it later.
This was a conscious thought process, albeit one heavily muddled by sleep.
Waiter: How was your food?
Me: I’m fine thank you
When I was a kid, I took my Nintendo apart so that I could use the parts to build a remote control airplane.
Smoking cigarettes was probably the dumbest thing I ever did. I only smoked for a few years in my youth and I quit years ago, but I’m afraid of any lingering effects that might crop up as I get older.
getting addicted to heroin.
last used was june 2017 when my stuff was cut with fentanyl and I overdosed standing in line at a CVS to buy insulin needles. Good thing I didn’t get a chance to put it in my arm.