What, due to experience, do you know not to fuck with?

Ladders.

I worked in an ED at a major trauma center and the number of otherwise healthy people who came in paralyzed or soon-to-be-dead from falling off ladders was eye-opening.

Vibrating logs in the forest.
Don’t investigate.
Don’t kick it.
Don’t throw things at it.
It is always hornets.

My health. Getting older you rediscover all those old hurts. When I was 20 I hyperextended both elbows playing volleyball. 15 years later my elbows started aching in the winter 🙁

Also my teeth. It falls under health, but not everyone thinks about the dentist when they think about health. If you are reading this please floss. Its a small thing that can make a huge difference later. Trust me

Chickens while there are chicks present.

My brother is a cruel little shit who liked being mean to animals while we were kids. He liked hurting them for the feeling of power it gave him. So he hurt a lot of small wildlife, like frogs and garter snakes and mice. When that stopped being enough he decided to go after livestock.

We had chickens. There was a great big rooster and his ladies and all of them had chicks. My job was to take care of the chickens, feed, water them, collect eggs, ect.

My brother was bigger and stronger than me so one day he decided to have ‘fun’ and grabbed up one of the little chicks in the coop and squeezed it until it started to scream for help. My attempts to stop him did nothing.

Now the chickens were used to me picking up the chicks and petting them. So they weren’t alarmed when my brother picked up the chick. When it screamed however, all hell broke loose.

All the chickens went after him, going for his face and eyes. The rooster had spurs on his legs over an inch long and he cut big grooves on my brother’s face, missing his eyes by millimeters. They swarmed him and bullied him until he dropped the chick and ran out of the coop crying with blood on his face.

He was 10 at the time and should have known better. Did he stop being mean to animals? No. Did they punish him for it when they could? The animals sure did.

Chickens are very much like the cuccos in the Zelda games. If you hurt one they will all swarm you.

If someone at work tries to badmouth someone else and they ask you about what you think about that person, JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

Waves.

Newby body surfer, misjudged a six foot wave and nearly drowned.

Fridays. In the IT world we call it “read-only friday”. Don’t change anything!!

Head injuries

I had a single friend that got into a bar room scuffle. He got knocked down a hit his on a tiled floor. Got back up and said that’s it for tonight. He lived alone and that was on a Friday night.

When he didn’t show for work on Monday with a no call, that raised some eyebrows. When he didn’t show on Tuesday, someone when out to his place and broke in after no answer. He was dead on the kitchen floor. Doctor guessed a brain bleed.

I think about him every time I see a video of someone getting knocked out.

edit: It’s only been a couple of hours since I’ve posted this comment and I don’t regret saying it, but I’m sorry for having dredged up so, so many sad stories

Trusting people’s blinkers to mean they are turning

Garage door springs. Pay a professional to mess with that shit.

Boulders covered with algae in mountain creeks do not equal water slides.

The pancreas

Electricity

Aggressive drivers. Just let them go

ticks

The ocean or any body of water, really.

Not immediately washing and disinfecting an open wound.

Dudes with cauliflower ears

Meth. Ruined my life for a while and I had to fight tooth and nail to get it back. 18 months clean!

For real, when you hear not to try meth, not even once, heed that warning

Never never trust a trench or a hole over your shoulders deep. You will die a horrible death. Yes at the beach too.