They tell you when you talk about how childcare should be divided and how important each of your careers are before having children.
I read that article, too, and I’m fucking amazed she didn’t just divorce that worthless excuse for a husband. For those of you who don’t know – he was unemployed and couldn’t handle taking care of their child while his wife worked in the next room, to the point he coached their son on how to annoy her so he could get her attention. Now they’re both unemployed, and so are her former employees.
As an unmarried woman, I think an important thing to look out for is actually talking to them. Sadly, you won’t know for sure until you actually do it but if a man isn’t even humouring the idea of himself being at home with your children for more than diiner to bedtime, as in actually taking care of them, he’s not what you’re looking for, sis. If someone voices beliefs about “women’s work” in regards to cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc – red flag.
A partner should be someone willing to carry the load with you. Don’t relly on hints about this. Judge them by the behaviour they’re already exhibiting, and question them about future possibilities before you make committed decisions. If he’s someone who currently needs to be reminded to do his chores and be a responsible adult, you’re fucked when things start involving kids because you’re going to be his mommy, too.
People show you/tell you who they are pretty early on. We just don’t tend to believe them.
Listen to what they say. Watch what they do and BELIEVE it early on. If you find yourself in a marriage look up one feeling bamboozled, chances are you ignored all the information for years.
That article was annoying. That dude didn’t become an idiot over night and she certainly didn’t become a push over like that just in the time of quarantine. I promise she knew he’d be weak and I promise he knew she’d fold.
Disclaimer : I know sometimes people become drug addicts, have psychotic breaks or brain damage that can permanently change a persons character from the person you chose to marry.
I think if your partner genuinely seems to care about your happiness and well being, it’s more likely that he/she will be working with you to split childcare. If you have a partner that is mainly self-focused, it would be more of a concern. Just looking back, those are my thoughts. My husband was always concerned for my general happiness before kids, and it has transcended into parenting
I was serious about my career when he met me. What you see is what you get.