Police dispatchers of Internet, What are some of your best “You don’t call 911 for this…” calls?

EMT here, not a dispatcher, but I’ve been called out for:

Toothache

Ride to a hospital so that he can get a free taxi ride to his car

Curtains smelled weird

Didn’t want to stand up (could stand up just fine) but needed to put oxygen on

Fell asleep with a rubber band on their wrist

And my personal favorite: penis is shrinking and “going to disappear”

Cop here, I’ve been on a few ridiculous runs that should have been filtered out before they got to me, including;

A goose that was “stuck” on the caller’s roof. (The goose flew away prior to my arrival)

A man called to report that his wife had tripped on a raised slab of concrete on the sidewalk and insisted that someone be held responsible

A turtle was blocking traffic at a major intersection, which is a legitimate call. However, while en route, dispatch told me the turtle had removed itself from the intersection, but I still needed to respond because the caller was now following the turtle through people’s yards

I was talking to my mom about a week ago and she called 911 because the ads on facebook made her uncomfortable.

Just had a woman call saying she was having trouble breathing and she had chest pressure.
Asked what was causing it and she said, as serious as can be “the CIA”
At the end of the call she asked, in her most concerned tone, “is Justin Timberlake alright?”

Not a dispatcher, just a citizen. Had a phone call in the middle of a very stormy night. I didn’t catch it but the caller ID said “City of ” so I called back. It was the police. Apparently water had seeped into my phone line and my phone had been calling 911 all night. While they were talking to me I had been going from bedroom to bedroom checking to see if everyone was ok and where they should be. I even made the comment, “Everyone’s here, and they’re all dead asleep…oh.” They just laughed and told me to have a good night. Small town.