People who don’t have to poop after drinking coffee, what other magical abilities do you have?

Chronic constipation

Reading for hours on end through the night and waking up at 6: 30 am every day.

I don’t cry while chopping onions

I poop while drinking coffee so that I don’t have to poop later

I’m able to put my socks and shoes on before I put on my underwear. It’s a skill that’s taken me months to master, but comes in handy if her husband comes home early.