a couple years I was getting pancakes with my 3 year old at a small diner, after eating she had gross sticky toddler hands so i took her into the men’s room to wash them (i’m a guy)
i was warming up the water and she runs over to this super old guy pissing in the urinal and screams “DADDDDDDYYYY I CAN SEE HIS PEE-ER” she shouted this so i’m sure the entire diner heard
pee-er being the word she uses for penis
the guy didn’t say anything, i apologized to solemn silence which made it 1000 times more awkward
sorry old guy 🙁
One of my daughters, around age 3 or 4, was with her somewhat socially conservative grandmother (mind your P’s and Q’s, be polite, be on your best behavior, etc) in a small town (everybody knows everbody) grocery store. Grandma introduces my daughter to someone shes known in town for decades.
“Jenny, this is Ms. Longtimefriend.” The friend bends down, extends a hand to my daughter and says “Hello. I’ve known your grandma forever. I’m Ms. Longtimefriend”. My daughter takes her hand and says “Hello I’m Jenny” and then, turning around and bending over grabs her butt cheeks and, doing her best Ace Ventura imitation, says “And this is my talking booty!”
I’m fairly confident that, 20 years later, I have yet to be forgiven for allowing my daughter to have seen that movie.
Shit in a display toilet.
Pushing her in a cart at Home Depot. She just slowly looks at me and says “I couldn’t hold it” and I’m like wait what? Then I look behind us to see a long line of urine on the floor. She didn’t even tell me she had to go.
Not me but my mom. When my brother was little, him and my mom went to the grocery store, and I guess he wasn’t getting his way. He cowered and loudly said, “Mom don’t hit me!”
My mom would never hit any of her children, but I think she might’ve thought about it that day.