I (30F) have a good job and make about $112k per year. I also recently got a promotion. Well, since I’m doing well for myself, my mom’s friend (70s F) occasionally asks for money. For a little bit of context, I’ve known her friend since I was a child, and I have NEVER known her to work. However, she’s always been a beggar. It’s always baffled me because I don’t think she’s ever tried to get a job in my several years of knowing her. If she was in need, she’d always ask either my mom or my grandma (when she was alive) for money. She’d go to them for money before she went to her own family members. Usually, either my grandma or mom would give her money, though I remember that my mom would be frustrated about it as a single mom. Anyway, over two decades later, now that I have a good job (and I’m sure my mom told her about my promotion), she’s asking me for money. I’ve given her money once (about $200 for when she needed it because her husband was in the hospital), but I don’t plan on doing it again. I know that she’ll just ask for more in the future, like she’s been doing with my family for the vast majority of my life.
Anyway, last night I received a call from her, which I didn’t answer because I knew it would be about money. That’s the only time she calls me. I listened to her voicemail, and she said that god told her to ask me to give her 10% of my income (more context: she’s very religious and claims to be a prophet and hear from God), and if I did give her 10% of my income, I would be “very blessed.” I just laughed at the absurdity of the voicemail message. I’m not giving her money because “god told her so.” And I live in a high cost of living area, and I have my own bills to pay. Idk why she thinks I can just piss away my money and give her 10% of my income.
I was just going to ignore the message and not call her back, but now I’m wondering if I should just block her number. The only reason that I haven’t is because she attends church with my mom, my mom picks her up every Sunday, and if I’m home for the holidays and go to church with my mom, then I’d have to see her and I’m a nonconfrontational person. Blocking would give me so much relief, but I just worry about how she’d react if I saw her in person (which isn’t much…I go back home maybe twice a year) and she knew that I blocked her.
What would you do if you were in this situation? Would you block or would you be more direct and just tell her you’re not giving her a portion of your income? I’m so fucking sick of her begging. She’s gotten plenty of money from my mom and grandma over the years (which she seldomly paid back), and I want to avoid being her ATM.
TLDR: mom’s friend is a leech and asked for 10% of my income last night.
>she said that god told her to ask me to give her 10% of my income (more context: she’s very religious and claims to be a prophet and hear from God), and if I did give her 10% of my income, I would be “very blessed.”
>I’m wondering if I should just block her number. The only reason that I haven’t is because she attends church with my mom, my mom picks her up every Sunday, and if I’m home for the holidays and go to church with my mom, then I’d have to see her and I’m a nonconfrontational person.
Wow. If you do see her in person and she asks for money, just say no. But also direct her to the church for support. Rope in the pastor to see what help they could give this poor, struggling woman.
Dont try to give her an excuse or a reason or an explanation. For why you’re not giving her money. Just straight up say “No thank you”. And “have you tried talking to [x] charity for support”?
And encourage your mother to say no as well, and definitely block her number…
Let her know that God spoke to you and said it’s inappropriate to give her money
I would contact her church and let them know that she is financially struggling. How can they support her?
Bro what the fuck? 10% of your income? Who asks for that lmao
BLOCK HER
AVOID THEM 100%
Don’t care what people think. BLOCK HER.
SHE IS A MANIPULATOR AND YOUR MOM IS GULLIBLE AND FALLS FOR HER PITY SPEECHES.
YOUR MOM SHOULD BLOCK HER TOO.
ITS CALLED BOUNDARIES AND PROTECTING YOURSELF.
In short, she’s never been a friend. She’s been friendly to your mother and grandmother because they’d only ever give her what she wanted. You just have to be frank:
“Hi, I’m not going to be giving money to you anymore, my family have often given you money for years without you having to pay it back and it’s not something I’m going to continue doing, I’d appreciate it if you don’t contact me again”.
In my experience people that often asked you for money before going to their own family were either hiding something like gambling or drugs, or they basically will try to rinse you for whatever they can get since they can afford to “lose” the friendship if they don’t get what they want rather than risk ruining their relationship with their own family.
Hell yes block. The cheek of her (to put it very) mildly
God told me you should quit your life as a beggar and get a job
>she said that god told her to ask me to give her 10% of my income
Bro, me too. God told me to ask you for 20 % of your income.
Just tell her you will not be giving her any more money. There need not be any further discussion. If she calls too much block her.