Men who’ve been married for 15+ years: what’s some advice for the younger guys?

I was married for 31 and divorced. Don’t ever stay for the kids…worst mistake ever.

You’ll inevitably have disagreements. Choose your battles wisely and always, ALWAYS remember this is someone you love. It’s your partner. It’s your life.

You’re gonna fight so don’t fight like an asshole. No ad hominem bullshit, don’t move the goalposts, no whataboutism.

Deep breaths, listen carefully, reply thoughtfully. Don’t fight in front of anyone. That shit belongs to you two and you two alone.

If you have kids maintain a united front. If your kid says “Mom said I could do it”, you say ok and check in with her later and resolve any issues then. Kids are fucking wily and while they might not fully understand it they have an innate ability to divide and conquer.

Most of all, just talk. Talk often, talk freely. Most relationships start with a lot of song and dance, but you really and truly have to be yourself if you’re going to be married.

So uh…. Anyone gonna mention how you successfully get to the point of marrying a woman though?

Understand that you and the other person will change. Physically, mentally, and financially.

Oh, and if you want kids, make sure she’s really good with kids.