Men who lurk on this sub, what has r/AskWomen taught you?

I feel bad admitting this. But my empathy for women has risen dramatically because of this sub. Most the time I feel like such a hypocrite. Overall I have learned a great deal. The one that sticks out the most is how constantly vulnerable women feel. I take my safety for granted.

Honestly this is one of my favorite subs for a couple reasons.

1. I’ve always believed the world is a big wide place and my knowledge of it is a tiny speck in comparison. Askwomen reminds me that no matter how much I open my mind, by myself, I am still at a minimum missing the perspective and experiences of half of the world.
2. A good example is there are issues that just never cross my mind. Like I would never worry about being physically harassed or worse at my workplace, or in a dark parking lot, or on a crowded train. The longer I read askwomen though the more often I see subtle comments and so on. Some of the women here have been through some horrifying shit but will mask it with a friendly reminder to not travel alone or park in a well lit area.
3. The issues of sexism are way more nuanced than I really understood. For the most part, throughout my entire life my thoughts and ideas have always been at the very least listened too. Not to say I don’t have my own set of social and communication issues. It’s just apparently there has always been a minimal amount of respect that I thought both men and women received. Instead one of the most common themes I see here is women being treated like a small child or someone completely insignificant. I don’t think I could handle that, especially not repeatedly in silence, and I’m someone that can stay silent through most anything.
4. Goddamn are there are a lot of dumb dudes doing ridiculously weird and creepy shit in the world. If anything I’ve learned, I hope it’s to never ever be thought of as belonging in that category.

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On a less serious note, I have a not so mild addiction to kdrama now. I had seen it mentioned a few times on the sub and ended up netflixing a few of them. It’s actually quite relaxing to watch for some reason and now I’m hooked.

That men who ask questions here constantly phrase it as if women are a hive mind and that it’s never not funny watching them get roasted for it.

I think I’ve just become a little more considerate in general. I stopped trying to talk to girls at my university after they say they’re not interested. Generally I just try to do things that make women feel safer, I cross the street when they walk towards me, I no longer ogle at their bodies in public, just shit like that.

I used to dismiss catcalling as not a big deal, but after a lot of thought and reading women’s reasons on here for why it makes them uncomfortable, I think I understand it now. Basically I just pretend that I’m me and everyone else is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (but way less wholesome) and then picture them always yelling sexual things at me on the street, and that makes me realize why someone would be uncomfortable with it.

Edit: Also I bought my girlfriend a gun after reading a lot of horror stories, I guess that’s relevant too

Sadly, that the vast majority of questions asked of women are related to their experiences with romance, men or superficial beauty. And also that women put up with a lot of shit that often goes unnoticed in pretty much any setting that a man is also in. The example I’ve found easiest to spot in the wild is how often a man will interrupt or condescend/undermine a woman when she speaks.

Edit: also another that I was pretty shocked about is how many women feel unsafe in public, even during the day in crowded places. I now completely understand if I’m walking towards someone and they clutch their bag or cross the street. I wouldn’t consider myself intimidating or shady looking at all, and I’ve usually got a ridiculously friendly dog with me too. But I learnt from this sub that it’s not personal, it’s just the horrible reality that creepy dudes could be and probably are everywhere..