If you could relive your last years, what would you change?

Do exactly what I did but with more confidence.
Things go as they go, just accept it. It makes you who you are and everyone makes mistakes. Don’t make big deals out of it as long as you learn from them.
Also I would’ve stopped caring too much about what others think of me

Not smoke cigarrettes

I probably would try harder to keep friendships, but other than that I’m pretty happy with where I’m at now

I would go to therapy sooner

I would not get married to my partner at the time: turns out he didn’t want to be a father despite telling me he did, and just “went along with it”. Also he made me anxious and miserable, and was a workaholic who barely contributed to the home. I would have been happier sooner and not the shell of a person I am today.

My brother took his life.

Looking back, it was so obvious something was wrong.

I know I am not a professional, I know this isn’t my fault, I know there is no point in blaming myself for it – but I still do.

If you ever see someone you know becoming strangely distant, besides themselves, and weirdly “being over it” for extended periods of time, then suddenly enthusiastic, almost too relaxed positive about everything while whenever you see what they do seems like “closing out loose ends” take the time and talk with them. I wish I had.

He was always there for me and did so much to help me, even when no one else wanted to believe in me anymore. And when he would have needed some the most and I could have made a real difference – I wasn’t there.

Commit to my boyfriend much sooner.

Not go to college

Gone to the doctor sooner

Save more money, would’ve taken the job out of state even if it sucked, would’ve said yes to some dates that I said no to, would’ve jumped head first into hobbies I was scared to at the time.