“Ow, my back”
“I mean”
“I’m hungry”
“What’s up honey bunches”
Honey bunches is what I call my dog.
“Coolio”
“Cool beans”
“and there it is.”
“Hello, I’m the embodiment of mediocrity encasing the mind of a degenerate”
“I swear, I could’ve handled it way better”
“Can you please kindly fuck off?”
“What a pain in the ass…”
“Oh god just end this empty, miserable life”
“I’m fine. Life’s good. Just hating myself every now and then.”
“Sometimes I want to feel affection, but the pride of being me won’t allow it.”
[sigh]
“Damn I want some garlic bread”