I (32f) may have accidentally got my massage therapist (David, 30m, who I appreciate and value deeply) in hot water.
I've been seeing David monthly for over 8 years, and he is an absolute life saver to me. I know him and his wife well, and my husband is friendly with both of them too. I see David about half the time at the spa he works at, and half the time at his home studio.
Last year when I was eight months pregnant with my son I was having a terribly difficult time with my pregnancy. I was very uncomfortable and often sick, and the extra weight was causing stress in my lower and upper back, calves and glutes as well as my feet (basically, everywhere). I went to see David (hadn't seen him for several months since being pregnant) at his home studio, and despite my overall discomfort and having to lay on my side and back, he completely healed my muscles and my mind, helping me stretch and relax and treating my muscles.
Because I was quite overheated and uncomfortable with the physical positioning, about halfway through the session we ditched the sheet. I was nude. It was NOT sexual in any way – I felt like a sweaty blob – but made things easier for him and me. (This was the first time I had been nude in front of him.)
When I got home my husband immediately saw the change in me, and I thought I should let him know I was naked during the massage, so I told him. He was surprised and had a couple questions but understood and was fine, and was glad I felt better.
Well, my husband and I ran into David's wife recently and I mentioned how helpful David has been to me, and my husband joked about how David “saw more of me at eight months pregnant than he had” or something like that, alluding to the time I was naked. Evidently, she had not been clued in about this fact and acted strangely. I texted David to give him a heads up, and he just said, “not good. Complicated.” We haven't spoken since. I fear I may have put him in a bad spot.
How should I handle this?
tl;dr: I was nude during a massage when very pregnant and my massage therapist's wife isn't happy about it.
There’s nothing for you to do. Whatever is going on is between them. At some point you can ask him whether he’s able to continue as your masseuse.
David’s “Not good. Complicated,” text makes it seem like he and his wife have had this conversation before. There’s nothing for you to do. It’s his issue to deal with.
You may want to start looking for a new masseuse, in case things go further south for David.
Sounds like David has been in hot water with his wife for doing something like this before. Or the wife was already unhappy about the nature of the relationship between David and OP?
Your husband is an idiot for making that comment he kinda made it sexual and I don’t blame the wife for being annoyed. Stay out of it at this point and you probably need to find another place to get massages.
I think David and his wife have already had a conversation about this and it sounds like she doesn’t like this happening. I would not reach out to him because if the wife finds out that will only stoke the fire.
Just dont meddle more and dig the hole deeper… Stay away for awhile.
It’s up to him to let you know if that is not ok, he’s the masseuse.
I am a little confused about how during an 8 year relationship where you are also friendly with his wife and speak to him/see him outside of sessions that this has never come up in conversation. You have never once discussed with his wife what she thinks about him massaging you, or other women? That seems a little odd to me.