With A cake, On that note HAPPY CAKE DAY!!
Half coffee, half cream.
Splash of half and half
Barely ever. But when I do, definitely sugar and probably a flavored cream. Basically a true coffee lovers worst nightmare
The same way I like any and all ostensibly relevant women and/or minorities: as a horribly offensive yet inescapably hilarious punchline first thing in the morning.
It just makes the rest of your day go that much better.