Questa volta abbiamo cercato una domanda rivolta alle donne.Have you ever realised retrospectively that you had been in an abusive relationship? What made you realise?
Ed ecco le risposte del genere femminile:
Yes. I realised it when I had to describe our sex life (towards the end of our relationship) as “he basically raped me but I didn’t fight it or say no because I froze every time instead”.
6 months after I broke up with him he told me he wanted to break up with me sooner but didn’t want to hurt me so he instead decided to just treat me like shit until I left. No joke. How that logic made sense to him is beyond me. F*cking coward.
A therapist helped me name the abuse and that gave me the resolve to identify and avoid it in future relationships.
Yes.
Mostly because of life experience, and observing many healthy couples. I lived with housemates that were a couple for a couple of years and watching them on a day to day basis, and how they managed conflict, was pretty mind blowing for me.
I continued to realize different aspects of the abuse over years. Not months – YEARS. It took me way longer than it probably should have. The lack of insight I had still terrifies me.
I realized it when he got in my face and started yelling at me, following me around MY apartment continuing to yell, and then ghosted me for a full week when I asked him to leave…then when he came back he said ‘you shouldn’t of kicked me out’, trying to demonstrate he was teaching me a lesson.
Real winner, that one.
I didn’t really realize it until months after I left, while I was processing the divorce. I knew there had been “bad behavior” that I didn’t want to put up with, but I was so reluctant to use the word abuse for non-physical stuff, because I thought I’d be called hysterical.