My husband and I have a sexless marriage. We have sex maybe once or twice a year. Neither of us really enjoy sex with people all that much. Neither of us are good at initiating sex. Neither of us really liked to be touched all that much.
Personally, I never really needed sex to be a part of a relationship. It just has never been my end all be all. I sometimes masturbate. My husband really enjoys his online stuff. I don’t know exactly what he does. He is into a lot of kinks. Part of his kinks is me finding his stuff and him hiding it. It is fine by me. If he wanted to have sex, I would fine with that. Any time, but he doesn’t really initiate it.
We are intimate, though, even without the physical. I know him. He knows me. He trusts me with everything. I trust him. I would be pretty much game for pretty much anything he wanted to do or try, because I trust him.
Posting here as a bookmark. Curious myself, as a possibly asexual guy with no SO.
Ace person here!
Asexuality is definitely a spectrum. There are ace people who are sex repulsed and choose to never engage in any sort of sexual activity, and there are ace people (such as myself) who still do participate despite not having that “attraction” aspect. Personally, I do enjoy having sex, but it’s not something that I ever actively pursue. Whenever my boyfriend and I have sex, it’s always him who initiates and gets things going. I participate both because it’s something that is genuinely enjoyable for me and because I know that it will make him happy.
I’m coming from the reverse side of things. I’m a sexual person who married an asexual. She’s told me plenty of information about different types of asexuals, such as sex-positive and sex-negative asexuals. She’s sex-neutral. She doesn’t care, she just finds it kind of inconvenient. She’s very pragmatic about it. She likes to trade sex for me doing nice things for her or getting her things.
SO asexual. She’s a decent human being and she’s a straight shooter and up front and said Pretty early in our dating “I dont equate sex to love I am not interested in sex. It’s like doing something new and saying not for me. If you want your dick sucked or sex I’ll hire you an escort”. It was jarring but our relationship is more than sex and in a lot of ways I agree. Sex is no different than eating sleeping ect it’s not special. Every creature does it.
We snuggle go on dates hangout everything is exactly the same as any other relationship she just has no sexual appetite. We’re very attracted to each and she says I’m sexy and yeah of course I would love to get it. But I don’t pressure or try to coax her into trying. I can grab the booty and spank. She likes being hit on and physical touch. It’s like her fun bits are just alien to herself. She’s not depressed high functioning doesn’t have hormone issues. She’s not gay. Not straight. She is just hardwired that way.
I just hire a hooker discreetly and occasionally and have an assortment of toys to self deal. FYI the first time I did this “arrangement” was the weirdest fucking thing. It took a couple go’s to be okay with it myself. I was the one hung up. To her all she cares about is that I’m not emotionally invested and that I’m just there to bang it out and leave.
I just pay the girls do the thing and leave it’s a transaction believe me escorts/hookers feel the same way. Hooker stereo types are annoying. They aren’t always sex slave/drug addicts/ect there’s professionals out there who treat it like any other service.