Just had an argument with my gf. She left some cosmetics in a hotel, when she emailed the hotel if they had been found the hotel politely replied they were no longer in the room and apologised.
Her response was to accuse the house keeping staff of theft in a very mean and & unprofessional email reply. Essentially saying it's the worst hotel she's ever stayed full of unprofessional theives.
The argument was because I suggested to her not to accuse their staff of theft without proof, and to keep her language professional. I'm ok with her expressing disappointment.
This is not the first time I've seen this, especially to hotel and restaurant staff with often reasonable requests are met with dispositionate hostility.
My feedback that she's overreacting and behaviour is not appropriate is met with “I can't believe you're taking their side”.
This is really making vacations / meals uncomfortable for me as it seems to happen most trips and she often expects me to back her up in her abusive behavior.
Any tips on taming this temper?
Is this a red flag for how she might be with me in the future once we settle?
Hotels are not required to save things guests leave in a room. The bottom line is the entire situation is her own fault. Rather than accepting that, she’s lashing out like a child. Maybe next time she’ll be more careful about having ALL of her belongings before leaving the hotel. Most likely scenario is her stuff was thrown away because it’s unhygienic to use a random person’s cosmetics.
Super red flag, one of the reddest you can see. The happiest solution for you is to just be done. If you think it’s bad now she will just get worse and you will get berated for not supporting her bullying.
Buddy, people that are intentionally mean are the worst, she will come for you too.
She is showing you her true personality. Take note and make your decision
A red flag indicates potential danger. This is not a red flag. This is actual danger. Break up with her, she mistreats people.
I won’t deal with people who are rude to wait/service staff. They usually have enough to deal with to not be treated hostilely by people they are serving. It’s a 🚩for me. Chances are you can’t fix this, she has shown you who she is… believe her.
She sound’s immature and like she’s someone special on trips. I was taught that people show their true colors based on how they treat staff. This is not a one time deal but multiple. Major red flag. I would be embarrassed being associated with someone like this. Also, this also represents you badly as you continue to stay with someone who acts like this.
You’re 36. You know you’re dating an up-and-coming Karen. You know better than this. What are we doing here?
I tell my kids to pick their boyfriends/girlfriends based on how they treat other people. If you see them being mean to other people but are super nice to you, eventually they will treat you the same way as that is who they are.
Once the honeymoon period ends you are in for some pain.