Desiderio: I wish toilet paper would be sentient and sexually aroused when whiping, saying “Oh yes! Wipe me with your brown sauce, daddy!”

Granted. The paw wants to kill you now. Your next wish will leave you dead.

Granted, public restrooms become so loud you need to protect your ears whenever you want to use one without going deaf.

Ok, I know this probably isn’t real, I’m getting a bidet just in case

Granted… Why? Why OP?

Granted. It sounds like your dad.