Has he ever had a complete physical?
Op it’s never too late to be happy!
Ed is usually a circulation problem. he needs to work out, get his heart rate way up and get the blood flowing, open up those veins.
Have you considered your husband might be asexual? Just a possibility. I don’t know much about it but I heard they don’t really have a sex drive or feel sexual arousal in situations where someone would normally. If he thinks a $30 copay isn’t worth trying to improve your sex life and making you happy, maybe he just isn’t bothered with having sex at all?
My best friend was in sorta similar situation but not nearly as long. She was always tempted to cheat but she never did and he knew she wasn’t sexually satisfied. Anyhow, have you discussed an open relationship? You could always get sex elsewhere and not have to emotionally leave him. My best friend did that with her husband and it changed everything for the best. They have boundaries they follow but its working.
Can he get hard watching porn?