>I feel sexually lonely. I never feel attractive or beautiful.
I’m a little confused about your situation. In your previous post you mentioned he was affectionate. Is he? Is he complementing you? Do you overall have a loving connection and the issue is he cannot show love/attraction that matters to you because PiV is off the table?
Have you confirmed he’s not masturbating, ever?
It sounds like you are the one creating distance because you have a need for PiV — which I fully respect and understand you have every right to want the sexual connection you want! — and that’s creating the distance?
You got toys and he’s eager to have you experience sexual pleasure and … you are unhappy about this.
22 years is a really long time, if you haven’t found joy in all the other parts of your relationship then he, as well as you, would probably benefit from ending the marriage.
A mans esteem goes right out the window when he has ED. He stops initiating because he dreads the failure to perform and this failure to perform just aggravates the situation even more. Anxiety is real. I was almost to this point myself with my ED. Viagra helped a little but anxiety could kill an erection very fast.
What helped me was a penis pump with a restrictive ring to maintain my erection along with the Viagra. This allowed me to have an erection for PIV and the restrictive ring maintained the erection.
My wife and I are in our sixties and we have sex every week.
ED can be overcome, you just need to get your husband to open up to the options that are out there. Penis pumps w/ring, injections, Viagra.
He has no excuse, do a search for penis pumps for ED.
As a much younger male who used to suffer a similar issue, he may have a long standing pornography addiction. I’m guessing this because viagra would help with circulation/blood flow issues, but if he’s not aroused by you, or more specifically “normal” scenarios of real life after training his mind for scenarios and aesthetics present in porn, the issue will still persist.
Regardless, I’d ask him very gently but directly what he perceives the issue to be and express why you’re frustrated currently.
Have you considered asking for an open marriage when quarantine is over?
Your husband is either asexual or just not attracted to you.
That’s not ED. ED isn’t 20 years long with no desire to get medical help and a weird willingness to get involved in sex play but not really participate.
He’s treating your libido like giving you an oil change because these aren’t feelings he feels.
He’s probably honestly unable to understand your problem.