“I’m still suffering every day” doesn’t go with “we’re ok now”. You clearly aren’t ok. The only relief you will have is when you leave the relationship. Ruining the other girl’s relationship might give you some temporary happy spiteful feelings but in the end you still don’t trust your bf and you aren’t good enough for him. She has nothing to do with it. Staying with cheaters isn’t worth it, they will do it again bc it’s not against their moral code. Find someone whose moral code aligns with your own.
The peace you want , you will never find it while still with him. As for making her pay , you didn’t even make your bf pay for it.
If you tell the man , it must be because he deserve to know not because you want her to feel the heat you feel.
You question your worth because you dont consider yourself worthy enough to leave and find a better man.
To find the peace and regain your worth, you have to accept the reality. The bad guy here is your bf. He is the one who should question his worth and not you.
You guys are not okay , you just repurpose your pain to the wrong target so you can still have a chance with him and its bugging you.
What if they break their couple ? kid have separate family from now on husband in pain and the other girl go crazy over it.
By making her pay for it that way , your guilt will only grow inside. Someone destroyed you and you want to destroy them. but the real offender is still without repercussion ( your bf )
If you do it because it is the right thing to do , the guilt will surely be less. You will do it because it give a chance to the husband to make his own decision about the next step with factual information. The consequence will be severe for them but honesty is always to prevail.
You will harm many by telling him so you better do it for the right reason. You better do it knowing before that it will not help your pain.
Only then your intention will be pure.
You decide to stay with the cheater , you love him. As a normal couple you should discuss this with him to see what he think about it.
Our worth is born in our self-respect. Every time your disrespect yourself , you will feel shame.
No one deserve to be cheat on. It must be an horrible feeling but paths has been forged in front of you.
You go to your left , you choose a path of lie and deception that will lead to pain for many.
You go to the right , you take a path of truth and forgiveness and you face the pain until it subside and you grow to respect yourself more. You will be in pain , others will be in pain but the equilibrium will realign for all. A new chance will be given to all. A new chance to be good or a new chance to be bad again but it will not be on you anymore.
You go in the middle and its the path of blindness , you don’t do anything about it and let the shame eat at you which will be ongoing pain for you.
I think so. I’d just tell him what you know, maybe answer a few brief questions as you might have missed out something important and then leave it at that.
For context – my ex cheated on me 6 years ago. I knew about it, but she always denied it. I never got closure, it tore me up inside. Today was the first time she confirmed it, told me why, and apologised – I feel a weight has been lifted and that horrible internal build up of emotions has dissipated.
If he suspects, but doesn’t know, he may be going through similar.
What you want is revenge. It’s not about anything more than that. Your boyfriend cheated on you. And you stayed. Where’s your sense of self worth? You are worth so much more than that.
You say oh she got away with it, well so did your boyfriend because you didn’t leave him!
You want to blow up someone else’s family for revenge, not closure. You’re torturing yourself everyday. I’m not saying don’t tell her partner but be honest with yourself about why you’re doing it.
Closure comes from within. Not from anyone else’s reality.
To me, just do it. Tell him and give him evidences, regardless of motive.