Tell him, but not in an alarmist way (“Holy shit, SIL wrote all this crazy stuff about you and people are going to recognize you!!!!”). If it sounds like a big deal, he’ll freak out. If you play it down, he’ll still find it difficult to deal with but will be better able to put it in perspective.
I’m torn, but maybe tell him so he has a fighting chance to have it taken down from the original site?
You should tell him.
> My family has a bad habit of hiding things in order to (theoretically) protect loved ones from pain
You’re doing exactly the same thing. Instead of being honest, you’re considering hiding this from him.
There is an article that paints him in an unflattering light. He deserves to know that.
I am also a very private person, and I would be devastated if my sibling knew about an article about me and didn’t tell me.
If I found out later that it was kept from me to try and protect me, I would be furious. I would be doubly humiliated, because it doesn’t matter why, it matters you didn’t tell me.
Don’t add to his pain. Just tell him and be there for him.
If she did use her and his real name, I would show it to him and recommend he get a lawyer involved.
It’s kinda like the tough thing about dating you never know who’s gonna go psycho on you