You should not waste any more time with him. If your life plan includes marriage & children & His doesn’t then you need to cut your losses & move on.
You CANNOT coerce a man into marriage, even if he goes along with it he will eventually resent you for it & leave.
You cannot change a mans basic nature.
Tell him that you have been happy with him so far. That you see marriage & children as part of your future & if that’s not for him then you need to move on because you want a husband & family.
Don’t tell yourself that you have invested so much into the relationship & you don’t want to lose that.
Tell yourself that you deserve to be with someone who has the same goals as you do.
Saw your update about waiting it out. I tried to do this with a past relationship, and it ate away at me until finally things came to a head and I broke up with him. It was very hard for me to be in a relationship with somebody when I knew that we had different life goals and we would never agree on that front.
Marriage and kids has been something that I’ve wanted, and it was not something that he wanted ever. I was 27 at the time and he was 31. Do not expect that you can change his mind, or convince him otherwise. But know what is important to you, and don’t compromise that. I wish you the best and take care.
He has already basically broken up with you by telling you he doesn’t want to settle down and that he doesn’t want to “drag you through the mud”. You don’t need to wait to see him in person to finalize it, you’re free to start processing it and move on.
Well this is classic break up material. You two dont even want the same goals for life so.. what’s the point in sticking together?
It sounds like you both want very different things. Divorce is expensive and can be very messy to go through, add kids to that factor and it makes it so much harder. The bigger situation to look at is that you want kids and he doesn’t, if either of you compromises on this it could lead to resentment later. I would call him and talk to him and tell him all you’re feeling and thinking and not wait for another 2 weeks. It sounds like it’s on his mind too.