As the title said, my mother cooked something on the gas oven and left it there for hours then went out completely forgot about it. She locked the front door and I was asleep in my bedroom. I suddenly woke up and found a lot of smoke everywhere in the house. The kitchen is at the back of the house so I had to go past a lot of smoke in the air without seeing anything to reach the kitchen but I didn't do that, I didn't know where the smoke came from so I ran out of the house to the front door and yelled for help. My mother was joining a wedding party next door, when she heard me, she immediately ran into our kitchen to turned the gas off. Then..she turned at me and started to yell: “Why the hell didn't you go in and turn it off? Are you fucking stupid or what?”. I was in shocked, I could have died if I didn't wake up in time and now everything is my fault. She even cried and had my dad comfort her and blame everything on me.
I was 12 back then but the event haunted me until now.
I don't know, I need some clarification for the relationship with my mom. Does she really love me? She always told me how much she wasted her life for me and made me think that she was always right because she is my mom. She told me she loves me and I'm the one who doesn't respect my parents and bad luck gonna come to me because of it.
I think maybe talk with a therapist, they are helpful for alot of people
I’m so sorry this happened to you, that sounds terrifying. This was in no way your fault, she should have known better.
>always told me how much she wasted her life for me and made me think that she was always right because she is my mom.
Neither of those things are true. Your mother is an adult and she makes her own decisions. Another commenter mentioned talking with a therapist and really, I can’t recommend that enough–my own therapist helped me come to the conclusion that my mom’s issues were not my fault, even though she did her best to convince me they were.
I agree that seeing a therapist is a good idea, from reading this that is quite traumatic! I don’t think bad luck is going to come to you though. Maybe your mum was just drunk and upset? I wouldn’t expect a 12 year old asleep to turn off an oven, and maybe she felt bad but instead misdirected her blame away from herself to you. Definitely talk to someone about this, because it sounds like it’s really disturbing you (understandably).
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists
Also, the book, Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers is fantastic.
Therapy would be good, too. Good luck!
>Then..she turned at me and started to yell: “Why the hell didn’t you go in and turn it off? Are you fucking stupid or what?”
Google the “Narcissistic Injury”, she was shocked and realised her own faulty for half a second, so her brain instantly went into full red alert mode, and a narcissistic response in red alert mode is to instantly deflect everything they possibly can onto someone else, you in this case.
In other words, when she said that to you, subconsciously she was saying it to herself, but she deflected it to you because she cant handle self criticism like that. She had to use you as a scapegoat.
Mental illness sucks.