So my gf approached me with this request the other day.
She wants a threesome. With me her and her friend (who is female).
Normally I’d be pretty gassed about this. But I really like this girl. A lot. And I’m not sure I want to do it. I feel like it’ll change the dynamic of our relationship and I don’t want to. I’m extremely loyal to her and I’m not sure about it.
However I know she’s very sexually open, and I’m worried I’ll lose her if I say no coz I’m not at all. I also know her friends have talked her into this (I fucking hate her friends).
Not sure how to deal with this
I would tell her what you are telling us. Have an open dialogue about this. You are right that it can definitely change the dynamic of a relationship, and from what we can read here, it doesn’t sound like you are comfortable with the idea. Definitely bring this to her attention, and maybe reconsider the relationship if she doesn’t respect your boundaries.
If you’re questioning it dont to it. You can always say you aren’t ready and do it later if you decide to. Threesomes in a relationship require a certain view on the topic if its eating at you now think about after. Will it bother you to see her with someone else? if you think she was talked into it does she even want this at all? Do you think she will be ok seeing you with her friend?
You need to have a long conversation with her about it if you think you want to go through with it. Any misunderstanding could quickly destroy a relationship.
Been reading through the comments and it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind as to what to do mate.
I’m 100% with you. I wouldn’t be comfortable with this – too many factors to consider that could all end the relationship
It’s ok to say no; if she doesn’t understand it then maybe you aren’t 100% compatible
Just here to wish you all the best though
There was another post on a similar situation a couple of days ago. Assuming that you are not the same person as the OP of that post, here’s the link to my reply. I would urge to consider this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gjzxg4/comment/fqovdtd?context=1
I’m in the same boat. But I was advised to never do this unless you are totally comfortable with it and any outcome of it. Statistically it seems most relationships fail or have a favor drastic change in the in the power dynamic and jealousy ensues. She may also want it again but with another guy and it’ll be “well we did it with a girl so…” so, op, don’t do it if you aren’t 100% comfortable and if she leaves because you don’t want it then you have dodged a bullet because that means she’ll be unrelenting about your boundaries on more serious topics. Good luck man and I hope you have a happy future