So maybe he actually does want monogamy – but because of how hurt he was last time he feels that if there is an open relationship right away then he doesn’t have the expectation of monogamy so he won’t be broken if either of you are seeing other people. That’s not how it works. He’s gotta work out his feelings about the cheating himself instead of changing his whole view on relationships. If he would have been ok with open relationships he would have stayed with his ex. He’s obviously not ok with it if he is telling the truth, and he’s protecting himself by trying to not feel so much. that’s gonna backfire. Encourage him to seek some counseling.
I saw a post from this guy about a year ago. He was doing a TIFU. Because he had told his wife he wanted an open relationship but then was mad because she was seeing other guys on the side. She was getting a lot of attention and he wanted advice on how to back pedal. Like he thought he was going to be a baller and ended up playing himself. xD
He dodged a bullet
An ultimatum in a 2 month fuck buddy coworker situation?
With a woman who fucks her coworkers…what happens when one of you go to another office?
The only mistake he made was back tracking, if he said “my way or the highway” he could have had sex for a couple more months as you accepted his strength of conviction as a masculine trait
But really, man or woman, DO NOT shit where you eat. Workplace fucking never leads to anything good
It comes down to whether or not you believe the reason he claims caused him to propose the idea in the first place, i.e. whether you trust that it was his insecurities about his ex making his decisions and not simply disinterest in being exclusive with you. Personally I would be just as uncomfortable if my potential partner proposed this, and I might be a bit skeptical about his reasoning. But I could see myself giving him a chance if it was uncharacteristic for him and I felt like I could trust him.
If he is someone you genuinely want to see yourself end up with, then it’s worth at least talking to him more about why he wanted to open up the relationship. Ask him about his insecurities that stem from his last girlfriend, his feelings regarding cheating, his goals for the future of the relationship. It can be hard to ask for a frank and full discussion about these topics, but whatever conversation ensues should give you a much clearer picture on how you want to proceed with him.
To me that says he’s already got his eye on another woman. He doesn’t want to drop you incase it doesn’t work out with the other gal.
I bet he was going to go for it with the other person anyway…before you asked about being exclusive, if you had caught him he’d say that “you never said we’re exclusive”. Now that you have forced the issue he said “open relationship”. It’s a way to justify what he was already going to do.
I’d drop him as he’s still definitely looking for other women and he’ll likely drop you as soon as someone he likes more comes along.
Especially this early in a relationship, take the exit before it only gets harder later