Don’t give her the money. The insurance money won’t come around again. That’s to take care of yourself not buy her a bigger house. You take that money and find a small studio to buy or rent if you have to. You don’t need much more than a bed, kitchen, bathroom and roof over your head to be happy.
I “loaned” my ex $35k of my settlement money to buy our house.
He forged my signature, sold it to his father for $1.00 to get it out of my name, and claimed I had given it to him as a “gift”.
Don’t do it.
You should talk to someone about antidepressants. I’ve been on them and they can make a world of difference. They can make going to school easier and most of all, not so hard on yourself.