We’ve been dating for about a year. The other day, I showed up to his apartment exhausted because of work. I fell asleep on the couch when we were watching a movie. I woke up to him lifting me up—not roughly, just like you might with a really drunk person. He pushed me out the door without a word and locked it. I knocked on his door for about 5 minutes because I didn’t have my keys, wallet, or phone. He opened the door finally and said something like, “oh you’re awake now huh?” He was very upset because in his mind the falling asleep meant I didn’t respect him or his time. He’s very busy like me so we have little free time together which is true.
It’s a very silly small thing. He’s never acted like this before. But I still feel like he was over the line. I have tried to ask friends for advice but they don’t seem to really get why I found his behavior almost scary. All of them at the very least think he was having a bad day and that was the last straw. I was acting comfortable with him in my opinion, how long do I have to date someone before I’m allowed to take a nap around them?
Am I overreacting here for wanting an apology and for reconsidering things? If I were to bring this up to him what’s a way to do it without sounding petty?
Wtf? Kicking you out with out your belongings is psychotic. You are waaaaay under reacting.
LOL silly small thing? Is this a real story? Because if it actually happened, no this dude has issues and you don’t want to be anywhere near him when things get worse.
You found his behavior scary? There it is. Your instinct is good. Someone who evokes that response should be reviewed. We all have bad days. Most of us somehow manage not to shove partners out the door without the essentials. If he’ll do that because you fell asleep, imagine what he might do if he has a bigger issue with you?
>I found his behavior almost scary.
As an old man, let me give one one singular piece of advice, when insecure, trust your gut.
His behavior is unacceptable, that he is not apologizing, even more so. If he apologizes, if it was a normal situation, maybe you could forgive him, but the fact that you got scared makes this a complete no no. Break up with him. Trust your gut instinct.
Get rid of him. Find someone who, when you fall asleep on the couch at his apartment, will put a blanket over you.
Homie, this is straight up insane. Like his reaction is so off the wall that this post sounds fake. If it was a joke between drinking buddies, sure, it could be funny, but this wasn’t a joke. This was a punishment. This was you relaxing and letting down your guard, and him straight up punishing you for not ‘behaving’.
You need to walk backwards out this situation. Wipe this whole thing out of existence. Holmes I’m scared FOR you. If something this intense and controlling can happen so quickly in this relationship, what else will follow?
Gtfoooooo. Save yourself
I have heard boundaries but this is ridiculous.
This sounds like a very narcissistic focus on himself as a result he was very insensitive to toss you out just like that ?
It makes me wonder what kind of relationship you have after a year ? have you ever slept over ? I wonder if this is a hardline as in your relationship will not progress past this level.
Also if he is hardline insensitive like this,, what else is hardline about ? what other hardlines does he have and/or will impose in the future.
I wouldn’t feel safe with that person anymore. I don’t think he deserves another chance, or even a conversation.