Thats super controlling. It only looks “gross” because it’s shaving for women is ingrained in our culture. I shave my armpits because I think my hair traps BO, but whenever I see a girl with unshaven pits I usually think “good for her.”
No one gets to choose what you do with your own body but you. Bodily autonomy is important for every individual. If your mother can’t respect your boundaries about your own body, that is 100% her problem, not yours. She’s the one who can’t handle her own feelings. Your body hair harms no one and improves your outlook about yourself. I think your compromise is a good one. Your mom just doesn’t sound like she respects others’ boundaries.
Stay strong. Your compromise was a good one. She’s the one being stubborn.
Does this maybe stem from homophobia on your moms part? Maybe she thinks that this is the first step in you telling her you’re gay. Not saying that you are, but a lot of older generation folks associate females that don’t shave with lesbians. I’m not saying that all lesbians don’t shave and that all straight females do because that’s just dumb. I’m saying your mom might have an underlying fear that she’s not expressing but it comes out as an irrational hate of body hair
I’m sorry about your situation I hope things get better for you. But I’m with you on the it’s more comfortable thing! I stopped shaving my armpits a couple months ago and it’s Amazing! No more prickly armpits stabbing me everyday, making me itch and annoying me. Now that the hair is longer I don’t even notice it until I see or touch it!! Comfort in your own body is important and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. It is not gross it is natural. Almost every human grows hair. It’s more normal than shaving.
I don’t think that anyone has any say when you’re 23. I also don’t believe anyone, including your mom, has a say in your choices & your body.