>I’m very confused and lost with this. What should I do?
You should RUN, not walk, away from this relationship. You should not be open and honest with him, because he will step up the abuse if he thinks you are leaving. Forcing you out of the car was to make you afraid to leave. The way you talk about being afraid of his reaction, afraid of his anger? That’s what he wants – that is how he keeps you from leaving. When you cut contact with your parents, whose idea was that?
Move back in with your parents or your sister. Do not tell him about the plan beforehand.
Move on. No one that truly loves you does something that awful.
This has a lot of textbooker abuser written all over it tbh. The age gap, the fast moving in with him, the rage, the isolation tactics, and then forcing you into a dangerous situation of walking home alone at night is pretty insane behavior. This isn’t salvagable and you should get out now.
You should break up with him. Leaving your partner outside in the middle of the night is absolutely unacceptable, especially to a young woman who is at a higher risk of being attacked.
>I thought that the best option would be to be honest and tell him that I feel trapped in the relationship. It’s not an easy conversation. I want to make him understand that it’s not him but the situation. Mainly the fact that we moved together in a different city far away from everyone else.
The reason you feel trapped is because your boyfriend wants to trap you. He is almost 30 and you are not yet 20. I am just a few years older than you and I am a vastly different person from who I was at 19. I can tell you right now that 30 year olds who have it together are NOT interested in hanging out with 19 year olds. Period. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t smart or mature–it’s about a difference in perspective that comes with age.
Your boyfriend moved to a new city far away with you because he wants you to be dependent on him. He doesn’t want your family or support system around because they will try to get you away from him. He isn’t sorry that he kicked you out of the car. He will do it again or something else along those lines, because he wants you to be scared and feel like you need him.
You do not need him at all. He is a full grown man with control issues. He doesn’t want a real partner, if he did he would date someone his own age who has a similar perspective.
Since you said your parents are very strict perhaps living with your sister would be a better option. But I really think you should get away from this guy. Go find a dude your own age who wants to love and respect you, not control you.
No ma’am, this is not okay on any level. Here are just a couple of concerns:
- You have gone from one controlling relationship (parents) to another (boyfriend). You have not yet developed the skills of standing on your own in healthy relationships.
- He is a 29 year old man to your 19 year old self???? Honey, this screams of control. You two are not on the same phase of life and he is using that against you.
- He LEFT you to walk two HOURS because you were thinking about doing something that got you out from under his control. This is literally a sign of exactly how he will treat you when you displease him further.
- It’s bullshit that he could not go back for you. In the TWO HOURS it took for you to get home, he could have navigated the “complicated” turn around to get you.
- He wasn’t mad when you finally got home???? Gurl, he is GASLIGHTING you! He “punished” you, then “apologized” (gave excuses), blamed it on you, and then gave conditions to you receiving his “forgiveness.”
No, no, no, no, no. He meant to take your phone and purse- do not doubt that. He was showing you how helpless he can and will leave you. Please reconsider this relationship.