Is this something you really want to know the answer to? If yes, you could watch a movie or something with a bi character and use it to segue into the convo.
2 years ago and before you were married? Doesn’t sound like too big a deal to me. People do all kinds of out of character things when they’re too drunk. Just my opinion, but I personally wouldn’t make a big deal of it. Does he still get black out drunk because then it might be a issue. Other than that I see no harm.
Better find out the whole story. This could be serious or just a drunken game of chicken.
i’d ask him to explain and not say anything else until you see how he reacts to it. i think it would have been better to do it in the moment.. your feelings are only getting worse by sitting on it and wondering. get him at a time that he’s not busy, not doing something else, or rushing off somewhere.
“hey, this has been bugging me since we were looking through your phone the other day, what was that about you making out with Dan?”
and just see how he reacts. let him talk, be as quiet as you can. just watch and listen. maybe you want to ask if that was the only time he’s done something sexual/romantic with someone else while you were together, or if it’s the only time he’s done something with a man. and then depending how you feel, maybe take some time to clarify your feelings before you say anything else to him.
first, you had an expectation of monogamy. although personally one weird kiss on a drunk night wouldn’t ruin a relationship for me, it might be a big deal for you. it could also be a big deal that he never mentioned it? (and that you still hang out with this person and Dan+texting friend also kept the secret?)
second, maybe you didn’t know he found some men (at least one?) attractive? and you might have more questions about that.. but him possibly liking men doesn’t make him incapable of being in a monogamous relationship with you. i hope he can reassure you on that point. i hope it’s just one kiss, or a joke, and not an ongoing pattern.
What good can come from confronting your husband about this? You are going to start a conversation with “I read in your text messages that you made out with Dan two years ago…”
You’ve been together for 7 years, so hopefully you know him better than we do. Was this your husband got really drunk and for some stupid reason, a bet, a joke started to make out with a buddy in front of a bunch of guys. Or is that he never gets drunk because he’s in the closet (Bi or Gay) and getting drunk lowers his self-control, so making out with a guy is his real feelings?
You have 7 years with him, if you think he’s an idiot when he gets drunk, you have your answer. If you have some other incidents where this would be part of a pattern, then you might want to bring this up.