Okay, I used to be like that all the time and it always messed things up. Honestly what I’m convinced help was getting a cat. I have put my heart and soul into him. I also have a demanding job, see friends. I am now in a healthy, non obsessive relationship
Do you think that your fear of losing him might drive your obsession? One of the most important things I’ve ever learnt about being in a relationship is to let them be, don’t try to control anything, don’t let your fears control you. Trust them, and trust their loyalty. Everyone else has brought up friends and hobbies so I won’t go into that
I dunno I think you’re going to be okay to be honest, a lot of these replies seem a bit doom-filled. You’re crazy in love right now, you’re curious, you’re missing him. It’s hard to go from RL to LD and we’re in a freaking pandemic so everyone’s freaking out, you probably just miss him and are filling that void with obsessing and anxiety. It really sounds like anxiety and loneliness to me, not codependance (maybe a little toeing the line for dependent). Maybe see if you guys can schedule some extra quality time together so you can get the connection you’re craving and see if that helps calm things down? Also schedule some you time for self care. I saw someone suggesting a journal and that is an AMAZING idea, very great to get your thoughts out onto paper then burn it to ash ha ha.
When I was crushing on my fiance I’d check his socials to see if he was awake or online or up to anything fun. When we started dating we’d text each other good morning and I stopped checking if he was awake because I knew. We’d have a good morning and good night phone call every day. Now we live together and we don’t have to do that at all. It wasn’t that I needed to, it was that I was excited to know he was up and hear from him. At the time I also suffered severe depression, so going a few hours without hearing from him would have me sink back into that hole, so I would consider whether you might have that too. Within a year of us being together my depression lifted for the first time in over 10 years and I found that his text brightened my days still but the time in between was just normal time, not sad time. You may have some mild depression that’s starting to creep in.
Keep in mind anxiety causes us to fixate and obsess, it gives us obsessive thoughts and makes for some wild impulses and compulsions. When I was younger my anxiety was so bad I almost lost an eye due to my obsessive thoughts and inability to fight them.
What I’d really worry about here is your insecurity and trust issues (and if you think you have anxiety/depression those are mega serious as well!!). You should definitely see a therapist about that. You don’t want to put that onto your partner or be the one to bring that into a relationship, it will kill it faster than you can imagine and it’s way more of a turn off than obsessing imo. Trust issues are also a good thing to get worked out with a therapist, so you can live a better life and build friendships and things too. You might be obsessing over him because he got through your walls and is the only person you trust. If you can open up and trust others he will be less special and you won’t focus on him so much.
I don’t think keeping busy will distract you at all, this is a chemical thing a mix of loving someone and trust/insecurity issues and anxiety/depression. I think you need to see a therapist to fix this. There’s lots of free therapists, you should google “free therapy