QUICK UPDATE: Thanks for all your comments. I read them all and will reply each one.
Well, I told my roommates. They already knew that I’m no contact with my family, although I never told them the details, they took the hint during a conversation we had months ago. They also knew my leg was fucked and that I was going to the hospital today, so they asked afterwards how it went. So I told them everything. I ended up getting really emotional because I was scared, but didn’t said anything about whether I was going home or staying.
Since two of them already graduated and are barely working right now (2 12-hour shifts per week) and the other one is only taking two classes this summer, they said they’re fully willing to help me during this time “if I want to stay”. I’ll be okay financially on my own since I’m eligible to government benefits and have some savings.
So right now I think I’ll be staying here. Hospitals here are way better and I have a support network now. Bless my friends, really. I’m now trying to decide how I’ll approach my family.
I’m so sorry for your recent diagnosis.
I think you should confide in the people you’re comfortable with for emotional support. If possible you should also seek professional help, this is a huge life changing event anyone would need guidance and usually oncology depts have resources they can direct you to. (If you can hold off a bit this probably would help guide you through whether you want to contact your family!) You can also ask about physical help with transport and accommodations they can provide should you need them.
As for your family, only tell them if you think it will actually help you. If you’re going to be more stressed and have a more difficult treatment period then there really is no benefit to contacting them.
Do you have other family members (aunts/uncles, grandparents) who could be primary support? You would still probably have to talk with your mom/bro but maybe other family could help shield you?
Ultimately you’re priority should be you, I think you should discuss with your friends and roommates about whether they can help you, or inform them of your home situation. I would make the new diagnosis and the asking for help two separate conversations and maybe give them time to think it through. Personally if you were my friend I would help within my ability and I’m sure your friends feel the same. If you have multiple roommates maybe they can all help you as to not put too much on one person?
I hope you have a speedy and painless recovery!
Can’t you contact another family member, one that you don’t have any friction and try to talk about this? They may been great friends but it’s always good to have family members to talk about it.