I’ve never felt like “this is the person” before. She told me that she was totally smitten with me, she drunkenly proposed to me on the phone. And our relationship was awesome. I looked at her and couldn’t believe my luck, that this woman felt this way about me.
Fast forward a month, we broke up. She said she didn’t know how she felt, or what she wanted. I sorta feel like she started over thinking stuff and got scared. There where some external factors that where causing her a lot of stress too.
Now I just want to send her this:
“Hey, I just wanted to be really honest here. I miss you and I love you. I’d really like us to work this out if we can. I just miss us and I think we can be amazing together. I have so much more I want to say but I don’t wanna turn this into a wall of text so, I hope you know I love you sweet, always.”
I’m talking from my own experience so it’s subjective advice:
Don’t do it. If she is not sure, she is not worth your time and energy. She WILL leave eventually. Your happiness and fulfillment matter and they will be generated by a relationship where a girl is crazy about you and knows you’re the right match for her. Spend all this energy that you would have used on her looking for the right person instead
This is the worst kind of breakups (aside from cheating). When people are just confused or feelings fade away.
You miss her and that’s completely normal. But understand that you can also love her by respecting her decision to not move forward. She made this decision – whether it’s right or wrong in your eyes – it’s not your call anymore.
Well I’m going through something super similar right now and I can say from past experiences if you’re the one who still has feelings… reaching out over and over and telling them you love and miss them usually pushes them away further.
You have to give them the chance to miss you and know what it’s like without you for them to realize what it’s like when you’re gone. The ball is in their court to fix what the broke.. not the other way around.
My advice is don’t send that message. If she wants you and misses you she will reach out to you. I know that sucks but in the meantime just focus on yourself.
I think it’s a brave message. Life is short, so I think f it, send that message OP!
I would put the ball in her court a bit more clearly tho so it’s unambiguous if you don’t hear back and it’s clear to her what you’re proposing. So, what would you like to happen? Eg “if you think there’s still something here worth exploring, would you be open to a glass of wine and a chat?” (Or however you guys hang out)
Of course, you have to be prepared for her not to respond or to reject this offer – and that’s ok if she does! You didn’t die wondering and you can close that door as best you can.
A lot of differing opinions on here. But when it comes down to it, you seem pretty level-headed about it, so do what feels right for you and you’ll eventually end up with that person you’re meant to be with.
All I got is my own example: My bf broke up with me because he didn’t want to “feel like this”. I don’t want to go into details but I asked him a question I shouldn’t have asked. So he broke us up. I did reach out to him after a while. Because I missed him and thought we were great together. He said he felt the same, so I asked why we weren’t together. He talked about my question again. And I just flat out told him I would never put him in that situation again. Fast forward to now, and he’s now my fiancé.
This isn’t the kind of thing you text.
First be ready and willing to stay broken up for the time being if you don’t get back together for any reason.
Second, tell her you would like to talk. Ideally in person, on the phone is a distant second, text if she absolutely will not meet at all or won’t reply after a week. If you do text under that circumstance: keep it short, say your piece, delete her number and all social media contacts.
Third, write out what you want to say. Get it all out on paper or on your computer’s note pad, wait a day or two and re-read it. Rewrite it to be shorter and more concise. Wait one more day to reread and a final rewrite.
If she is willing to meet, do not over explain yourself. Do not read what you want to say from the paper. You’re writing it down for you to focus your thoughts and to put the extra emotion onto the paper, not in your conversation with her.
Say your peace, keep the time short. She may say something, maybe not. You both may have questions, maybe not. She may be firm on staying broken up, be ready to be ok with that. Do not beg. Don’t take more than 20 minutes for the conversation. When you leave let her know you’ll need a few days to yourself. You’ll both need to think about things.
The relationship is different now so you will need to take things slow again. Do not fall into the bad habits you had prior.
Good luck.