My sister and her boyfriend are staying with me and my husband because of work getting done on their flat.
I love my sister, I don’t love him, she’s worked since she turned 16 and since she met him she’s been supporting the both of them (soon to be the three of them)
They’ve been dating for 4 years, he’s 28.
I’m a SAHM, he usually plays video games during the day in their room, he’s very much a…macho man? The loudmouth cliche, he knows everything.
I recently overheard him talking to one of his “mates” and basically he told him that my sister was a “good lay” but that if she got too much he could “put her in her place” I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation.
I’m genuinely concerned because when I told my sister she just kind of shrugged?
I just don’t know what to do here.
Just a douche being a douche. She absolutely sounds like she deserves better but it also just seems like he’s a “big” man playing it up for his boys.
I think you’ve done what you can. Letting your sister know was the right thing to do, but there’s not much more you can offer unless the situation escalates.
Best thing you can probably do is to just be a supportive sister and keep an eye on things. One day this relationship is likely to end so just be there for her in the meantime. He’s an asshole, one day she’ll see that. But she needs to come to that conclusion on her own.
Idk if you told your sister and she doesn’t seem to care it could be that she knows and doesn’t care. You can always tell him to shut up if he says something about her in front of you though
Please know that I am coming from a dark place here and my experience is not necessarily hers.
I was in an abusive relationship for years. I escaped it.
This is concerning to me. Saying he could put her in her place seems demeaning and if there has been any domestic violence it could get much worse. Statistically abuse gets worse during and after pregnancy.
Please keep an eye on them. Be open with your sister and do not confront him directly. He will only deny it and take it out on her if he is abusive.
Now, it could have just been a joke in poor taste. But regardless, make sure your sister knows that she can come to you for anything and you will believe every thing she says. That you love and care for her. Don’t disparage him, just offer her support.