Imagine cheating on your beautiful financially stable wife because being with someone who had their shit together is intimidating and emasculating. He’s gone back to a woman who works retail similarly to how you did, because he wants someone he can feel superior to and possibly manipulate financially, and that hasn’t been you for awhile OP. Most people aren’t so jaded to see a salmon dinner and press on nails as losing sight of their previous selves, it’s clear that is not the founding issue here.
> EDIT so. We talked. He’s cheating on me with a girl 10 years younger than him who works at Walmart. He said she reminds him of me when we first met…
Well I certainly didn’t have that on my list of guesses.
Hope you’ve got a good lawyer in mind, OP.
He purposely picked a fight. And then he didn’t come home?
You’re going to need to know where the hell he was.
Something is definitely going on.
When he’s ready to talk just ask “what is going on with you???” You guys need to talk and if he won’t then what?
He’s comparing you to someone. Who that someone is or how involved they are, we have no idea. I admire that you guys have this bond of having come from lesser means & working through it, however I wonder if he’s been secretly “upgrading” himself via someone else.
I’m not sure how you guys talk about things, but I can only tell you to use the element of surprise. No one “suddenly” criticizes their partner when they haven’t had a habit of doing so.
In times I’ve been cheated on, they’ve alternated between this kind of behavior and doing nice things (due to guilt).
Prepare yourself. That work ethic may be working someone else. Beware of gaslighting & suddenly bringing things up from the past you thought you’d resolved. If you have any capacity for sleuthing, get evidence.
Most cheaters will aim to blame their partner if they can get away with it. Of course it can be something else entirely, but it’s the only thing that makes sense to me.
And sorry I just saw the edit. If he wants Walmart, give him Walmart. You’re young enough to make the best of what you have & thrive.
Also is he threatened by you growing up that he’s looking for someone who resembles the younger you???
However you decide to proceed I wish you well.
My very first thought was he found someone else and he’s picking a fight for no reason. Cheaters do that.
I’m sorry.