A dog doesn’t want to live forever, they just want their days to be perfect.
My advice is say you called the vet whom I assume is on friendly terms by now. Say “Favourite Tech name understands you’re having a difficult time making the decision. Why don’t you try this, make a list of favourite things to do. Play with their favorite toy, walkies, belly rubs, favourite treats, meeting people at the door… And cross them out when they can’t do them anymore you can say goodbye without guilt.”
Those two things together tend to ease people’s guilt about chosing euthanasia.
Good luck.
Oh man. I can sympathise with you a lot. My childhood dog is 15 in a few weeks and hasn’t been doing great for a long time but my mom can’t let go, so it’s really difficult watching him have no quality of life. She can’t get past seeing euthanasia as just killing him, not something that can be a mercy.
It’s not something you can push her into, because she will resent you for it.
However, there are things you could do to maybe help nudge her along. If you’re willing. They might not all go down very well, though.
Put your foot down about caring for the dog. Betsy is her dog. So if Betsy is waking up a ton of times all through the night, make her get up and take care of her dog. It doesn’t matter that she’s working. She signed up for this responsibility when she bought a dog.
If you think it’ll make any difference and don’t mind being potentially a little bit manipulative, literally break down in front of her about it. How it’s basically torturing Betsy, you can’t imagine having to live like that, whatever. Cry if you can/need to. Really go for the hard emotional sell. Say that you can’t stand to watch it anymore. So that she understands that it’s not just Betsy who’s being hurt by this.
Say you might have to go stay with a friend or family member for a few days because you can’t sleep and it’s breaking your heart. Actually do that if you think it’ll be helpful for you. You need to sleep.
Next time Betsy collapses, call the vet out. Explain the situation to them and maybe ask if they could have a conversation with youf girlfriend and explain more clearly to her that this is not something the dog is going to get through, that it’s just going to get worse and worse and more painful for Betsy and that it’s not necessarily humane to keep her alive any longer.
I am in a very similar situation in terms of my beloved dog who is also 16 and also started having health problems earlier this year. Thankfully she hasn’t seemed to be in pain, but I’ve resolved to make the decision if it comes to the point where the pain outweighs the quality of her life. This dog is like my kid and I am going to be a fucking disaster when she goes, like a stage five royal mess of a disaster, but watching her go through pain is something I will not do because in the end, I know it’s selfish and I don’t want her life to end in pain. Of course you can’t tell your girlfriend she’s selfish (of course she’s not, her heart is breaking in a million pieces), but just lovingly reinforcing that she (Betsy) doesn’t have to be going through this pain, that you don’t want her wonderful life to be ended with pain and suffering, and that she’s had 16 great years and unfortunately it’s not going to get better anymore and you just can’t bear to see her suffer. As others have said, she’ll resent you if you really push her, but try your best to appeal to her emotions logically but lovingly. I feel for you guys and my heart goes out to you.