That father is clearly out of line. He needs to be slapped silly. OK, no violence, but he lacks both boundaries and manners.
However, we only have your word for it that you are not, in fact, a hoarder. I watch that TV show “Hoarders” and denial is a frequent observation in the subjects. Is there any chance you are one?
You’ve posted before about people telling you that you need to clean your house, so it does sound like you may need to step back and really take a good look at your home. If more than one person has been rude enough to make comments and you are concerned about a teacher being a mandated reporter, I really think you may need to stop and assess.
One issue is the level of stuff, the other is the level of cleanliness. More stuff sometimes makes cleanliness more challenging. So I guess one question is, do all of your things have a place? Do you have to move some things to get at others? Do things fall over? Are you able to get in and out of all rooms safely and easily? Are any of your hallways blocked? If you’re comfortable with the answers to those questions, then it’s probably not a hoarding issue. What about cleanliness? Are your bathrooms and kitchens cleaned frequently? Do your kitchen counters get wiped down regularly? Do you have to make space to sit down on the couch? Are dishes washed and put away every day? Are you floors vacuumed, swept, and/or mopped? Are the sheets on your child’s bed in good repair and washed regularly? The answers to those questions should tell you whether your house is safe for your family.
So… assuming your house is truly clean and safe, then the real issue in your life is nosy people. In that case, I think you pick a stock answer that you can use every single time the issue is raised with anyone who raises the issue. “Mortimer, my home is clean and safe. Everything else is a personal choice that I am not going to discuss with you. You keep your home the way you like, I will keep my home the way I like.” and if he continues to make comments you say “I think this visit is over, it’s time for you to leave (or it’s time for me to leave.)” and you end the discussion. Getting into anything that resembles a dialogue with him is going to end up being frustrating. So don’t. Just refuse to discuss your home with anyone, politely and consistently.
After giving this some thought and reading 54 comments, i.e. all there are at the present time, I do have a concrete suggestion. Have a lawyer send a “cease and desist” letter to Mortimer advising him that his characterization of your home and lifestyle have caused bullying behavior among your children’s peers and malicious gossip among parent groups, resulting in psychological distress and social injury, and that if he continues doing this in your presence or to his young child Ermentrude who is a friend of your daughter, it will result in a civil suit for slander.
THAT oughta shut him up.
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