Questa volta abbiamo cercato una domanda rivolta ai ragazzi.
As a very new mom, I find myself thinking a lot about the type of mom I’m going to be. With a son, I’m wondering if there is anything I might miss because of the gender difference. So, looking back on your female family relationships:
-What did your mom/aunts/grandmother etc do that you appreciated as a young boy/man? What did they typically do that you wish they didn’t?
-What have you seen other moms etc do to their sons that you find cringeworthy?
-What are some things that, now as an adult, you understand why your mom did it; but you wish she went about it in a different way?
-What things should I just let my husband handle and moms just need to steer clear? Or are there things that you wish weren’t left only to dads and moms got more involved with?
(Excuse formatting as I’m on my phone)
Ed ecco le risposte:
Don’t know if this will be helpful, but here goes.
If I had to characterize my relationship with my mom. It was based on advice more than judgement. I knew what my parents expected of me and how I was to behave, but they gave me the freedom to make my own decisions without threatening what would happen if I screwed up.
I was reminded often that she was in my corner no matter what. Disappointment for bad behavior was not hidden, but it wasn’t communicated in anger.
Another thing I have noticed now (maybe because of where I live) there is somewhat of a push for moms to enforce the idea to their sons that they need to control their masculine qualities in a hyper-vigilant way because they can be harmful or threatening. Don’t do that, they are all going to end up with complexes. Stick to teaching them how to treat people as honorable and moral men.
Give him privacy but let him know you care. Be truthful. Teach him to cook. Not enough moms spend time with their sons in the kitchen.
Don’t ever say ‘men are trash’ or the like, to him. Don’t destroy his self confidence.
Teach him to be a decent person. But don’t try to give him advice on dating and girls.
I had a really bad relationship with most of the women in my life when I was a child because they always assumed the things I did wrong or forgot to do were because I’d thought about the right way to do it then decided ”nah, fuck her I don’t care what she thinks”.
Don’t do that. Kids (boys especially it seems although I might be wrong) aren’t thinking. They’re just doing whatever they feel like right in that moment. They don’t decide to disobay you most of the time, they do it because they thought something would be fun or cool and just did it.