My husband loves video games and plays often. I wasn’t allowed to have games growing up so I’m really awkward and bad at video games so I just watch him play most of the time.
Sometimes though I want to try playing myself and my husband will get really excited and get me all set up and then he proceeds to tell me how to do everything . And when I do it wrong (cause I’m reeeeally bad at controlling camera and movement at the same time still lol) he feels like he needs to tell me why it was wrong. (I know it was wrong lol I died didn’t I?)
I know he’s excited but it’s annoying not getting to try and figure things out on my own. Plus, I know HOW to play most of the time (I’ve been watching for years!)And it’s normally just a problem I’m having remembering the controls – not a misunderstanding about the game.
He even does it when I’m playing Minecraft which is the only game I’ve actually played well for a few years now.
Yes, I’ve told him how annoying it is and makes my gaming experience less fun but he keeps doing it. He gets upset now when I ask him to stop because “I’m just trying to help!!”
I really don’t know how to explain it to him any other way so now I just don’t even try to play which sucks because i think Apex Legends would be really fun if I could just get a chance to try it on my own.
TL;DR – husband backseat games when I try to play cause I suck. It’s very annoying and makes me not want to try playing!
My girlfriend recently started playing video games. I felt this strong urge to teach her the optimal way to play because watching bad gameplay is sorta agonizing.
But then I read an Mini guida that if someone is playing a new game and you backseat game you can kill their curiosity and turn them off that game forever. I remembered how excited I was to know my girlfriend could share my hobby and felt worried that I might have done too much damage already.
So I started doing my own thing while she gamed and didn’t look at the screen. She got better and I got calmer. Now I can watch her play without being annoying.
Maybe sharing this perspective with your husband could help.
Not really advice on your relationship, but I had a lot of trouble playing games on a computer because of the keyboard. I was really bad at games with wasd and like every game using different keys for the same thing (sometimes interact is f sometimes it’s e). It can be really confusing especially switching games. My husband bought me a Razer Tartarus and it’s a lot easier for me to play games now because you can change the keys for each game you play. It’s also a lot more comfortable for my small fingers to reach the keys and is less stressful on my hand because of the way your palm rests on it. And once you set the controls for a game it saves them in cloud storage so you never have to do it again even if you switch computers. It made control management a lot easier.
I introduced my girlfriend to shooter games at the beginning of this year, and I was 110% guilty of doing that to her. Your best bet is to not only constantly remind him when that happens that you don’t like it, but tell him “I’m not having fun when you do that”. That’s the biggest kicker you can give. From what it sounds like, he WANTS to play with you, and he WANTS you to have fun, and share that experience with him, but his experience is much different than yours because of how much time he’s put in VS you. Stand by your convictions, and suggest alternate ideas to have more one-on-one practice with him. I hope this helps! 🙂
I am 10000% in the same boat. My bf and I will be playing Apex together and when he goes down and I’m still alive, he’ll watch my POV cam and non stop chatter and tell me where to go and what to do. It really throws off my focus and makes me more flustered and I end up dying soon after. So now when he does it, I just bluntly tell him to stop talking.
Try playing when he isn’t home or just be straight up next time he starts doing it.
I made some nice, heart shaped coupons for my wife. She redeems them as needed by handing them to me.
There is one for just this circumstance. It says “I love you, but shut the fuck up”