Questa volta abbiamo cercato una domanda rivolta alle donne.How have you learnt to be able to admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own?
Ed ecco le risposte del genere femminile:
One day it just clicked that disliking people I thought were prettier than me doesn’t make me any more pretty. Feminism also played a huge role in it. Why do I have to feel like I’m in a competition with every woman I meet? That’s right! I don’t!
Instead I focused on what makes me unhappy about myself/insecure. Is it because she’s skinny? But do I really want to live like I’d have to, to be skinnier? Nope (disclaimer: I am at a healthy weight). But good for her, rocking the fashion model look. The more you love yourself, the less you care about what others have that you don’t.
A really useful starting point for me was remembering that labradors are cute and so are pomeranians, but they don’t look anything alike. Roses are beautiful but daffodils have a really bright cheeriness to them. In the same way, just because one person is beautiful and I don’t look like them does not mean that I am not beautiful or special.
Beauty isn’t a zero sum equation.
Forcing myself to keep statements of admiration to one piece of information solely about that person in their own right, no qualifiers, no comparisons.
She has pretty eyes, not “her eyes are prettier than mine” or “I wish my eyes were like hers”.
Rewiring and practice. Whenever I admire beauty I consciously stop the thought train from entering into the comparison tunnel….with each time it gets a bit easier. Reroute it into being grateful to come across such beauty. Working on my self-esteem simultaneously helped me progress. Plus you need to have an existing positive/appreciative mindset.