Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little more than a year and we moved together after three months of relationship. After that I stopped talking to my parents.
They have now told me that in order to gain back our trust and relationship I should move with them or my sister. The problem is that they are pretty controlling and we don't have the best relationship. And because my sister left our house at a very young age I'm not close with her either.
But I also feel like after moving with my boyfriend I started missing on all the experiences girls my age go trough. Like you know, partying with friends and just hanging out with people outside the relationship.
That's why I thought about moving back with my parents or with my sister. I haven't made the decision because there are issues in this.
Anyways I was in the car with my boyfriend and I brought that up. He started getting angry but I ignored him and tried to explain my points of view the best I could. (Edit: I didn't told him that we should break up or anything, I just told him that maybe I should move back with my parents or sister in order to be in contact with them and try to fix the relationship. But never said that I wanted to break up) He kept on ignoring me and at some point he stopped the car and told me to leave. I told him that I was sorry and I would drop the subject but that I wasn't leaving. He kept insisting until he got out of the car, came to my side and pushed me out if the car. He left and I had to walk for almost two hours. My purse with my phone and keys was there.
When I got home I had to wake him up by ringing and he wasn't mad or anything. He even told me that he wanted to go back but it was a one direction lane and it was difficult. He apologized and promised me to never do this again but to stop messing around with him by telling him that I was leaving.
I'm very confused and lost with this. What should I do? I thought that the best option would be to be honest and tell him that I feel trapped in the relationship. It's not an easy conversation. I want to make him understand that it's not him but the situation. Mainly the fact that we moved together in a different city far away from everyone else. How can I bring this up with him?
TL;DR my boyfriend threw me out of the car and and made me walk home after telling him I wanted to move back with my parents or sister. Now I thought that maybe I should just be open and honest but I'm a little afraid of his reaction and also I don't know what's the best way.
Edit: and also I wanted to add I don't think he took the phone with him in purpose. And I'm not trying to defend him or anything but it's not like he wanted to leave me alone without having a chance to call anyone. It's just that I didn't grab it.
Someone who pushes you out of the car in the middle of the night and leaves you by the side of the road is someone you break up with and never look back.
I have a feeling this isn’t the only way he’s overbearing, controlling or toxic.
You say your parents are controlling. Well, so is your boyfriend. It might not seem that way just because you are used to being around controlling people in general.
Dumping you on the side of the road in the middle of the night with no concern for your safety is not the action of someone who cares about you. Also his excuse for why he didn’t come back for you is terrible. Because it was a one way street? Come on, that’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard.
If this is a real post, run back to your parents as fast as you can. That is abusive behavior. He’s already separated you from all of your loved ones, he moved you far away, then he kicked you out of a car on a busy space (assuming because of one ways) – and his excuse for not coming back for you was – it would be too difficult? He had two fucking hours. You do not mean shit to him beyond being a toy to play with. He’s going to try and manipulate you more when you do leave. So don’t tell him, just do it. Please look up abuse hotlines and information. He put you in danger once, he’s not above doing it again.
Move back with your parents and start working on becoming independent.
Your boyfriend is abusive. Staying with him will let him know it works and he will ramp it up. This isn’t something you can talk out or get him to understand. He is just basically a bar person.
Stay quiet and then when he’s gone pack up and move out. If he knows you’re going he might escalate and hit you.
first of all, you’re 19 and this grown man is 30. Red flag #1. Please move back in with your parents. I know it’s difficult but they won’t control you as much as him. This man is actually insane. BLOCK HIM AND RUN!!!