My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years. Our anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks. I'm 3 months pregnant. My doctor just sent me a message to let me know I tested positive for chlamydia. My husband is the only man I've been with since we've gotten together. He usually works out of town so of course it's easy for him to cheat on me. I just never thought he would. We have a 3 year old daughter and a baby on the way. We live with my parents right now because of the pandemic going on and him getting laid off of work. We have a joint bank account. I'm not working and I depend on him for everything right now. I feel so stupid for everything. He always tells me he loves me so much and he would do anything for me. I've always believed him. I want absolutely nothing to do with him anymore. I told him when we first got together that if he ever cheated on me I'd be done with him. I want him out of my parents house. I want a divorce. I want to keep my kids. I know he'll try to take our daughter to try to manipulate me. I can't handle that stress right now. I haven't told him yet what my doctor told me. I haven't told him I know. I don't know what to do or where to start. I'm extremely angry but I need to know what I should start doing right away before I let him know I know. I don't have money for a lawyer so I don't know when I'd be able to start the divorce process or how much it would cost. Can anyone help me with any kind of advice? I would greatly appreciate it. We're in our mid thirties in Texas if that matters.
First things first, you need to talk to a lawyer before you do anything rash. The consultation should be free and they can discuss with you how payments work for folks in your situation. Since you are a stay at home mother, they can probably get your legal fees figured into your joint assets. You are married, so your assests are joint and you should be entitled to them. The lawyer should be able to atleast tell you your options and the best path forward if you try to DIY your divorce. If they request a fee, see if you can borrow the money from your parents or friends.
I would advise you to talk with your parents about the situation as well if they can keep a cool head before confronting your husband, so you have a support network and they are not blindsided. Additionally, they can be in the next room in case things get ugly with your husband.
Additionally, post to the r/divorce subreddit and surviving infidelity website to get feedback from folks who have been in your situation.
Good luck moving forward and please keep us updated,
Some of these links may help:
Start here:
Some links for the 180:
Some links about cheating:
Also, record your conversation with him when you confront him, as he could try to say in court that you cheated.
Hi OP
Before you jump the gun please read this comment.
When my sister was pregnant, she too tested positive for Chlamydia. She went nuclear on her husband and nearly tore up her marriage before it even got started. Then she got a call from the doctor office that the test was false positive. It is quite common. Please rule out a false positive before trashing your marriage. I wouldn’t believe this myself if it hadn’t happened to someone so close to me.
Did you both get tested for this earlier in your relationship?
Because Chlamydia can be symptom-free for many. So it’s possible either he or you (or both) have been positive with it since before you got serious.
Get a second test and get him tested before you do anything rash.