I woke up and felt really happy and confident. I’ve been feeling down lately and I decided to get dressed up. I showered, did my hair, put eyeliner on, some earrings, a necklace he got me for Christmas, and some cute clothes. I felt really happy and confident. And we just had a conversation a few days ago about how dressing up can help your self confidence so much.
We get on Discord (in a long-distance relationship) and he doesn’t say anything. I finally say “notice anything?” And he says “You’re wearing the necklace I got you.” I then point out all the other stuff, and he says, “you wearing eyeliner just reminds me of when you put that on all the time to hide yourself from me.” That hurt me, and I explain that. And he says “I don’t like makeup.” And then I get even more hurt and I left to take it off. Then he called me fragile and childish for doing that, and now is upset I won’t accept his apologies. I just felt confident and I know he thinks I’m pretty without it, but I just think he could’ve been so much nicer about it. How can I make him understand saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t fix how much he hurt me?
UPDATE: I told him I posted this and he told me he doesn’t want me anymore and I’m a c*nt and that he hates me.
He understands that he’s hurting your feelings. He literally just doesn’t care.
Edit: @ your edit – this dude is trash. Put him out on the curb and enjoy your self confidence and freedom.
Girl you better get dressed up again and celebrate that the trash took itself out.
After your update I think that tells you all you need to know about him. It’s great when men find our natural bare faces beautiful. But dressing up, wearing makeup, doesnt make us any less. And it’s good to feel confident in yourself. Your man should hype you up, not tear you down. I’m sorry that you had to deal with a numbskull like that. Keep your chin up, wear what you want, feel beautiful and happy and find someone who will love you and how you look whether its dressed up or dressed down.
This guy sounds abusive. You dodged a bullet. Stay away from him. Move on.
It’s not that he doesn’t understand he is hurting your feelings. He understands. He is saying that BECAUSE it hurts your feelings and he is trying to bring you down. Maybe it makes him feel better or he thinks you’ll be more dependent on him or he’ll be able to control you more? Who knows? Who cares? You don’t need to know why he made you feel shitty. Just know that he made you feel shitty.
Go find someone who makes you feel confident and beautiful.