So I’ve been dating this dude (37M) for a couple of months. He’s smart and funny, and attractive. But the further in I get, there are some yellow flags that caught my attention, and I’m not sure if I should just bail now or kind of wait and watch.
First of all, he thinks it’s entertaining to get under people’s skin. I asked him why he does that, and he said “they’re laughing within 5 minutes.” That’s fine, but I get tired of being picked at and being in defense mode all the time.
He’s so sarcastic that he interprets everything I say as sarcasm, when it’s not. It is so frustrating so say something genuine and it’s only met with eye rolls and “You’re so full of shit.”
He’s also AGGRESSIVELY liberal. Being liberal is cool, I am too. But it is possible to feel a certain way and not talk about it constantly. Example, I work in senior living. I was telling a totally non political story about a Kenyan nurse, and it was a cute story about a language mix up. He said “You have a black nurse? How does that sit with all those old conservatives?” When I was clearly annoyed at that blanket projection, he defended himself by saying, “What? Old people are conservative and conservatives are racists.” I actually can’t stop thinking about it.
Do I just abandon ship now or should I chill out?
TL;dr: I have been dating someone for a short period, and a couple of comments and characteristics have really rubbed me the wrong way. Do I get out now, or should I look at myself and chill out?
Ever heard that old expression, frequently wrong, but never in doubt? Not an attractive quality in a potential mate, esp not at only two months in. Pls, as a general rule, anyone who’s ‘aggressively’ anything is usually pretty tiresome. I’d throw him back.
Do the positive benefits you get from this relationship outweigh these negatives?
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I dunno dude the “getting under people’s skin” thing is probably going to drive you absolutely insane in a few years, especially if you end up living together. Be careful
Get out!!!
The intentionally annoying people for fun is a big red flag and will only cause resentment down the line.