I(25f) live with my bf(27m).
Last night I was on my period so I used a pad before I went to sleep. My flow was unusually heavy and I blead through the pad. When my bf woke up he screamed at me for bleeding on the new bedsheets. He demanded that I pay him to replace the sheet and for the rest of the day he made a show of washing his hands after touching me in any way.
When I tried to explain myself to him he told me to be quiet and said that I was disgusting. He really hurt my feelings what should I do
Get new sheets and get a new boyfriend. What a complete dick
Edit: I showed my husband my post and his response was, “Remember when I shit myself when I had bad diarrhea and you cleaned up after me? I figure clean ups are the least we can do for each other. Tell them that.” So it’s a marriage thing I guess. Shit happens!
Your period is once a month, shouldn’t you be able to exist in comfort and free from ridicule for a perfectly natural thing?
I am the same age as you and have been with my husband for years. After I had our babies, I had incontinence, the inability to control my bladder, I had just had a baby!! And I peed myself in the kitchen without ever feeling the urge to use the bathroom.
What did my husband do? He told me to go take a shower. He cleaned up the mess, and washed my clothes for me. Boom. No ridicule, just gentleness and concern for my well-being.
I also had an abnormally heavy period and I bled into our brand new WHITE comforter and sheets. It was like someone stabbed me in the vagina. Lol.
What did he do? He asked if I felt okay. I said I’d take care of the sheets right away. I grabbed everything off the bed and he grabbed me some midol, told me to take a shower, and that he’d take care of everything.
I was still embarrassed on both accounts. But my husband cares for me and thinks of me first. What’s the worst that happens? We have to get new sheets? Big deal!
Sweetie, understand that you deserve better. There’s nothing disgusting or wrong about you and a small mishap. It happens! I’d have a serious discussion about his reaction and use this as a serious reflection of what you both expect in the future. What if you get a severe flu and throw up in bed? What if you get food poisoning and don’t make it to the bathroom?? What if you have a baby and your water breaks in your brand new carpet? Shit happens. But you need to think about your future and what sort of comfort you need and be able to rely on.
I’m sorry OP. This sounds so painful and scary, and traumatizing. Many people here are saying that you can have a serious discussion with him and lay down firm boundaries. That’s completely up to you and it’s your choice what you do next.
However, if this kind of behavior is a pattern from your boyfriend, as in, if he regularly shames, insults, and humiliates you, then I would suggest that you start crafting a safety plan to exit this relationship. I know it is exceptionally more difficult during COVID-19 but the advocates can help support you in any choice you make.
You can always talk with a relationship advocate 24/7 at Love Is Respect via online chat, text, or call. If you are not in the US I have a list of other services further down, but you can always use the online chat at Love Is Respect regardless of your location and it’s free.
https://www.loveisrespect.org/ or text LOVEIS to 22522 or call 1-866-331-9474.
This Relationship Spectrum describes the spectrum of relationships from healthy to unhealthy to abusive. What your boyfriend did is abusive and you do not ever deserve to be treated in this way. The Power and Control Wheel is another great tool as it describes how abuse revolves around power and control over someone else.
Relationship Spectrum: https://www.loveisrespect.org/dating-basics/relationship-spectrum/
Power and Control Wheel: https://www.med.unc.edu/beacon/files/2018/03/GenderInclusivePCWheel.pdf
Here is also an international directory of domestic abuse and relationship services.
https://www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html
Here is a compilation of COVID-19 domestic abuse resources, including safety plans, hotlines, and support groups: https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fp0vad/meta_covid19_domestic_abuse_resources/
Dump his loser ass? He seems like a jerk and no girl deserves to be treated like that for something they have little control over. To behave in that manner makes him super immature and nobody deserves that. This actually irritates me so much, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. ?
oh, no, how dare you have normal bodily functions…?♀️